Week 4 NFL Predictions!

26 Sep

Still a lot of bad football to be played out there this week!


Week 4!

Wwwhhhhaaa there are already teams with a bye week? That’s crazy!

September 26th – Thursday Night Game (8:25 PM ET)

San Francisco 49ers at St. Louis Rams

Andrew – San Francisco. Even though I hate saying this so early in the season, buuuuuuuuuut (there’s always a but) considering how the Seahawks have jumped out ahead in this division, this is a must win for San Francisco. Kaepernick has already matched Alex Smitch’s total losses from last season when he took over, better not get a concussion! I just hope they don’t tie again.

Greg – San Francisco. What is happening with this team so far? It’s like they have a quarterback who hasn’t had a chance to prove himself yet! Oh wait. That’s Kaepernick. This is a big game for the 49ers and I think they’ll show up to take care of business on the road.

Genesis – 49ers. San Francisco is looking a little rough as of late. 7 points against the Colts from a Super Bowl team is pretty awful – but I expect them to bounce back tonight against the Rams. If the Rams were only able to score 7 off of that Cowboys defense, I expect them to score like 2 field goals against the ‘9ers defense. (Watch Sam Bradford go crazy and throw like 4 TD’s [jk – not gonna happen])

September 29th – Early Sunday Games (1:00 PM ET)

Baltimore Ravens at Buffalo Bills

Andrew – Baltimore Ravens. Ravens have to feel good about how they asserted themselves against the Texans. I imagine them to continue their tricksy ways on defense and to give EJ Manuel a tough time. I think the final score will be closer than the game actually was (something like 24 – 21, with the Ravens giving up a soft touchdown late in the 4th quarter before running out the clock).

Greg – Baltimore. The entire defense of the Bills are basically injured. That should lead to some opening for Flacco to finally get this offense going. Plus, Ray Rice practiced and should be good to go come Sunday.

Genesis – Bills. This pick is such a risk, but the Bills have been playing decent enough to keep these games close and I feel like Flacco will fold under pressure. With the Ravens D still questionable, (even though they kept the Texans from going anywhere last week), I think EJ Manuel will have another decent game and just do enough to edge out the Ravens in this upset.

Cincinnati Bengals at Cleveland Browns

Andrew – Cincinnati. Cheers all around. The Vikings could not get their shit together enough to beat the Browns, who otherwise imploded. This will definitely be a close game and a tough defensive match up, but a couple more turnovers from Hoyer, and that should be the ball game.

Greg – Cincinnati. Genesis is right — the Browns lucked out last week. Hoyer will not have the same success he did against the Vikings defense as he will against a much better Bengals defense. I think the Bengals win this one easy.

Genesis – Bengals. The Browns lucked out last week – or maybe the Vikings are bad? The Bengals were able to beat, in my opinion, the best team in the NFL right now. So logic says that they’ll beat the Browns, right?

Chicago Bears at Detroit Lions

Andrew – Chicago Bears. For all the first places in the NFC North. I imagine this will be a very close game, both QBs will make their fair share of mistakes, and both big name receivers will do what they do best. I know Vegas is giving the Lions the slight edge, but I’m a gamblin’ man, and i think the Bears are the better team here. Plus I hate the way Stafford sticks out his tongue. God. F you, guy.

Greg – Chicago. Maybe this Bears team is actually for real? Things seem to be going pretty well, everyone is playing good football for them. I think the Lions will put up a good fight and this will be a tight game, but Bears pull it out.

Genesis – Daaaa Bears. The Lions were only able to put up 27 points against a poopy Redskins defense. The Bears were able to put 40 on the board against a semi-poopy Steelers defense. 40 > 27 = Bears Win. Plus, some dude on the Lions team broke his arm in a car accident because of a pizza. Also, I just hate Suh.

New York Giants at Kansas City Chiefs

Andrew – Kansas City. I said it would take one more game for them to prove it to me, and they did so I have to go with the Chiefs here. I know that the Giants aren’t as bad as they’ve been playing, and I imagine they’ll do their normal “lets fire Tom Coughlin, oh no wait lets do a late season run to beat the Patriots in the Superbowl,” but this will be the game that pushes them to that point.

Greg – New York Giants. Risky pick here, seeing as the Giants are basically one of the worst teams in the NFL right now. But I’m trusting that they right they ship (as they always do) and that the Chiefs play like the team I thought they’d be (7-9). Tough game for the Giants, but Eli shows up.

Genesis – Chiefs. It’s going to be 0 – 4 for the Giants. OH BOY, HERE COME THE WATERWORKS. Chiefs are a playoffs team – YEAH I SAID IT – and the Giants will not be – YEAH I WENT THERE. Giants have no fire, no pip in their step, no points on the board. The team’s in shambles and Andy Ried and the Chiefs will take full advantage of that. Huy-yu-yu-yu-Huy-yu-yu-yu

More picks after the jump!


Pittsburgh Steelers at Minnesota Vikings

Andrew – Pittsburgh. Isn’t this is London? There would be nothing better than if these teams tied “nil – nil,” and the NFL had to explain that it was a great game.

Greg – Vikings. Which team can actually play well? It’s a battle of who can have the least amount of turnovers, and I guess I’ll go with Adrian Peterson’s running? Basically, Minnesota bias, Steelers are old/injured.

Genesis – Steelers. Geez, man, both teams are like prettyyy bad. But I think because they lost to the Browns – THE BROWNS – the Vikings will have that in the back of their minds the entire game – enough to psyche them out and have the Steelers do just enough to beat them. Close game? I think so.

Arizona Cardinals at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Andrew – Arizona. Don’t look now Tampa Bay but things aren’t going to get better for you. Plus you live in Tampa Bay.

Greg – Arizona. Traveling across the country can be difficult for West coast teams — if you aren’t playing a rookie quarterback in a horrible offense. Cool that Glennon is from Centreville, but he won’t do so well. But hey, good for him, and bye Josh Freeman! (Remember when Andrew loved Freeman?)

Genesis – Buccs. Their new QB, Mike Glennon, is from Centreville, VA. BIG UPS TO C-VILLE, YO. As we’ve seen, a rookie QB can make all the difference. I think Glennon will have a great game – and will do so much more than Josh Freeman could – enough that he’ll be the starting QB for forever.

Indianapolis Colts at Jacksonville Jaguars

Andrew – Indianapolis Colts. Jacksonville definitely has a chance to win if.. they… uhhh…. if they could just…. maybe Gabby could…. well I mean, realistically…..

Greg – Colts. DON’T CARE.

Genesis – Colts. Bc the Jags are stupid. Tebow time.

Seattle Seahawks at Houston Texans

Andrew – Seattle Seahawks. Texans are banged up on offense and struggled terribly against the Ravens defense, that isn’t nearly as good as Seattle’s. I know the Seahawks are on the road, but I think the Seahawks would have to play bad for the Texans to overcome them.

Greg – Houston. The Texans have not been playing to their potential (certainly not last week), and that’s why I think they’ll come out fired up. And finally the Seahawks leave the comforts of their cozy stadium up there for a real test on the road.

Genesis – Seahawks. SUPER BOWL BOUND SEAHAWKS. You heard it here, folks. In my other post, I said Russell Wilson was overrated. Looks like I was wrong. He shut me like all of the other haters out there. That team is incredible and will show how good they are by beating another “good” team in the Texans. It’s just a shame Pete Carroll is just a giant walking, gum chewing turd

September 29th – Late Afternoon Games (4:00 PM ET)

New York Jets at Tennessee Titans

Andrew – Tennessee Titans.

Greg – Tennessee. The Titans are clearly the better team here, I still don’t know how the Jets are 2-1 — that’s impressive in itself. But in Tennessee, the Jets will lose.

Genesis – Jets. Two mediocre 2 – 1 teams. I literally flipped a coin. I feel like this game could end up being low scoring and plagued by field goals – but who knows/cares.

Philadelphia Eagles at Denver Broncos

Andrew – Denver Broncos. At home for the Broncos, against what is shaping up to be a vulnerable Eagles defense. Should be fun to watch, probably high scoring.

Greg – Denver. While Denver hasn’t even been close to playing a good team yet (Ravens, Giants, Raiders) — I watched the game against the Raiders. Whoa this offense is scary. So many weapons. I think this could be a really fun game if the Eagles could get their offense working, especially against the Broncos defense who have given up 49, 23, and 37 points the first 3 weeks.

Genesis – Broncos. Peyton Manning cannot be stopped. I literally can’t wait for him to throw like 30 TD’s so everyone can shut up about the Eagles. YOUR OFFENSE IS NOT WORKING ANYMORE, OKAY CHIP???!!!

Dallas Cowboys at San Diego Chargers

Andrew – San Diego. I imagine that after every win the Cowboys celebrate like they won the Superbowl. They’ll definitely still be in recovery mode for this week.

Greg – Dallas. The Cowboys demolished the Rams last week, which means that this game will be close and Dallas will score like 17 points, but still be able to pull out a win. Also, pretty sure if the Cowboys win this game, they clinch the NFC East.

Genesis – Chargers. Logically, I should pick the Cowboys because they are the best team in the NFC East so far. But I refuse to acknowledge that they’re a good team – so, let’s go San Diego. Ps. Has Te’o played yet?

Washington Redskins at Oakland Raiders

Andrew – Washington Redskins. Please god.

Greg – Oakland. Basically I am picking the Raiders for being at home, against one of the worst defenses I have seen. But hey — glad this game will be on TV for the DC area!!

Genesis – Skins. THE EFFIN, SKINS. I swear, if they lose to the Raiders – WHICH THEY MOST LIKELY CAN – I swear, I will – continue to root for them because loyalty is the best! *high five* But seriously, that defense. I can’t.

September 29th – Sunday Night Game

New England Patriots at Atlanta Falcons

Andrew – Atlanta Falcons. If all offensive pieces united and had good games, I think the Patriots would do fine, but assuming Danny Amendola is not back and Gronk isn’t 100% (even if he plays) then I imagine this will be a long game for Patriots fans. The defense is too suspect for me to assume that Tom Brady will be able to mask their errors.

Greg – New England. The first test of the Patriots, and they have looked pretty awful up til then. TIME TO GET HYPE — GRONK IT UP!

Genesis – Falcons. Remember that time the Falcons lost to the Dolphins? LOL. This game will be fun to watch, but frustrating for the Pats. This game has potential to be a shootout, but with the Pats receiving core kinda in shambles, I expect the Falcons to outlast them in the game.

September 30th – Monday Night Game (8:30 PM ET)

Miami Dolphins at New Orleans Saints

Andrew – New Orlean Saints. Every couple years Miami likes to emerge to the top of the AFC East and get demolished in the playoffs – 12 total points scored in their last three playoff appearances. I imagine this will be a playoff type game for Miami.

Greg – New Orleans. Can someone put these Dolphins in their place? Oh good, at New Orleans. Phew. Take care of business Saints!

Genesis – Saints. The Jags and Dolphins should combine teams, to make one super mediocre team. Plus, Jaguar Dolphins sound like a cool animal. Like a dolphin with stripes – and teeth. Yeah, that’d be cool. They’d still go 0 – 16, but still cool.

•Bye: Green Bay Packers, Carolina Panthers


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