Week 2 NFL Predictions!

12 Sep


Week 2

September 12th – Thursday Night Game (8:25 PM ET)

New York Jets at New England Patriots

Andrew – New England Patriots. A Jets win and an almost Patriots loss were two things that I was definitely not expecting in week one. I’m hoping this game brings normalcy back to the NFL, otherwise, I have no idea what to expect any more (but seriously, Patriots losing in Foxborough to Geno Smith & the Jets…. don’t see that happening, ever).

Greg – New England. Last week was a bit scary right guys? This week I think will be just as close. No Amendola hurts Brady a lot — who does the throw to now? Look for Edelman to be double covered in the slot and someone else to step up. If no one does step up, Pats are in trouble.

Genesis – New England Patriots. Last week was a fluke. All this means is that the Jets won’t go 0 – 16. I am interested to see who Tommy Salami is going to throw to – because like everyone is hurt. Also, buttfumble. ❤

September 15th – Early Sunday Games (1:00 PM ET)

St. Louis Rams at Atlanta Falcons

Andrew – Atlanta Falcons. Tough loss to division rivals last week for the Falcons. They have to be pretty disappointed seeing as they’ve been trying to convince their own fans for years that they are deserving of the number one spot in the NFC South. If Atlanta can handle the Rams defensive line, then it should be all good from there.

Greg –  Atlanta Falcons. Thought the Falcons would win last week, but I was WRONG, and I apologize Saints fans. This week though, the Falcons should win this fairly easily. The Falcons are the better team and at home, where they almost never lose at.

Genesis – Atlanta Falcons. Although a lot of NFL ana–, er, “analysts” aren’t all that supportive of the Falcons right now, I still say you can’t beat Matty Ice + Julio Jones. Other than Chris Long, I have no idea who’s on the St Lous Rams D is, nor do I care enough to look. Either way, they won’t be able to keep up with the Falcons’ offense.

Carolina Panthers at Buffalo Bills

Andrew – Carolina. Hmmm this is an interesting game. Both teams lost their first game, but both teams played well against teams that are supposed to be significantly better than them. The biggest question is, was the Bills’ success largely in part to little to no tape on EJ Manuel? It’s possible, in addition to the Bills powerful run offense, but overall I think Buffalo has a long way to go. I just hope I’m right when Carolina is on the road.

Greg – Carolina. Yes the Bills played the Pats tough last week — but it was also thanks to three boneheaded turnovers by the Pats. It’s an emotional loss for the Bills last week (Even their coach agreed it was devastating), and I think they will come out a bit flat into this game, enough so that the Panthers can win by 9.

Genesis – Bills. They almost beat the Pats last week! Underdogs for life! But no seriously, I know I’m going to be totally wrong because sCam “Fig” Newton is going to run all over the place. The Bills are still trying to find their identify and after a loss like that last week, it’ll be tough for them to win. But…they’re underdogs..soo…


Minnesota Vikings at Chicago Bears

Andrew – Chicago Bears. Learned my lesson last time don’t discount the Bears at home. I’m thinking it should be very similar to last game, another tough team, but another close win.

Greg – Chicago. I want to like the Vikings, but with Ponder at quarterback and basically no one to throw to — I just can’t. The Bears should win this easily.

Genesis – Da Bears. I Ponder how many times they’re going to hand the ball to Adrian Peterson? As his nickname suggests, most likely all day. But it wont’ matter. The Vikings are pretty one dimentional – aka hand it off to AP. If you can stop the run, you can win the game. If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

Washington Redskins at Green Bay Packers

Andrew – Green Bay Packers. I don’t know what to say, Redskins looked awful in the first half, but adjusted and things seemed to settle down in the second half. The Packers will easily be able to put this game out of reach (as the Eagles did) if the Redskins perform the same way in this game, at any time. I expect the Redskins secondary to get tested over and over again until they break… but I will gladly take a knock on my predictions for the Redskins to pull out a win.

Greg – Green Bay. I get so much flak from Redskins fans in the area for never picking them to win. Then I go ahead and pick them, and look what happens. No one said “Oh Sorry about that Greg!” to me this week — so guess what — PACKERS ROLL!!!!

Genesis – Packers 😦 I really want to say the Skins will come out and they’ll be like whaaa?? and we’re all going to be like whooaahh!! and then everyone will be like yayy!!! But I know that won’t happen. Because the Skins don’t have a secondary. And Mr. Steven Aaron Rodgers is going to light up the Washington “defense.” Also RGKnee will probably get destroyed by Clay Matthews. Sad face – see you next season.

Miami Dolphins at Indianapolis Colts

Andrew – Indianapolis Colts. Colts at home + a mediocre team on the road, should net out positive for the Colts. I am thinking this may be closer than people expect.

Greg – Indianapolis. I actually am leaning towards picking Miami, I think they are a much better team now than they were, and are still under the radar. Look for a tight game — if Indy wasn’t at home, I’d go with Miami.

Genesis – Colts. They make their own Luck! LOL!!! But seriously, the Colts are a better team, why am I even trying to justify this.

Dallas Cowboys at Kansas City

Andrew – Dallas Cowboys. I’m sure Andy Reid is tired of playing NFC East teams, and it wouldn’t be easy against a tough Dallas defense. I doubt they’ll have the six (6!) turnovers that helped them out against the Giants, but I don’t see Alex Smith throwing as much or as well well as Eli Manning did either.

Greg – Dallas Cowboys. I still think the Cowboys will win the division this year, they just have too many offensive weapons to be stopped every week. This week, they should be fine in KC. Do I care to watch the game though? No.

Genesis – Cowboys. Dallas was juuuust able to suck less last week against the Giants in order for them to get the win. But the way they turned it around in second half was pretty impressive. Alex Smith will do well and definitely won’t poop the bed like ELI DID!!! (loud enough for him to hear) – but it won’t do much because the Cowboys have way too many weapons both in offense and defense.

Cleveland Browns at Baltimore Ravens

Andrew – Baltimore Ravens. Yeaaaa the Broncos made their Ed Reed and Ray Lewis-less defense look like swiss cheese, but….(looks at Brandon Weeden)…. I don’t see that happening again this week.

Greg – Baltimore. As opposed to Andrew, I think this game will be pretty tight throughout, but ultimately the Ravens coming through in the 4th to win. The Browns defense should step up and do fairly well against this Ravens offense that is still learning who to throw to.

Genesis – Ravens. The Ravens are still a great team, despite the whopping they took from Denver. They’ll bounce back from last week’s game and do work against the Browns. Joe Flacco is going to throw about 1,000+ yards this game. That’s a fact.

Tennessee Titans at Houston Texans

Andrew – Houston Texans. Yes, the Titans beat the Steelers last week, in pretty much convincing fashion (considering the Titans defense only allowed one touchdown at the end of the game) but I don’t know how much that reflects on the Titans or is an indictment on the Steelers.

Greg – Houston. I think the Texans will be looking ahead a bit this week, so watch for a trap. BUT — it won’t be a trap, Texans win.

Genesis – Texans. JJ Watt is going to eat someone for breakfast and Matt Schaub will still look like he just woke up. But, he’s going to throw a lot. Plus with two effective-ish RB’s in Foster and Tate, the Texans should win this one easily.

San Diego Chargers at Philadelphia Eagles

Andrew – Philadelphia Eagles. This isn’t so much a vote in favor of how well the Eagles played last week (in fact, once the Redskins adjusted in the second half, they only scored once and allowed 20 points), but more so my continued disappointment in the Chargers. I think cross country on the road makes this even more difficult for the Chargers.

Greg – Philadelphia. Again, as opposed to Andrew, this is a vote in favor of how well the Eagles played last week (in fact, once the 2nd half rolled around, the Eagles didn’t have much to play for and let up). The Chargers played pretty well last week against the Texans — and still lost.

Genesis – Eagles. THEY WERE LIKE, IN SUPER TURBO MODE. CHEAT CODES, I TELL YA. But seriously, like the 2012 Redskins, opponents have no idea what to expect. Crazy formations?! Trick plays?! One thing is certain though, Vick is going to get hurt. Owies!

September 15th – Afternoon Sunday Games

Detroit Lions at Arizona Cardinals (4:05 PM ET)

Andrew – Detroit. I still don’t have faith in the Cardinals, and god forbid Carson Palmer goes down because then that’s it for their season. Watch out for Donkeykong Suh!

Greg – Detroit. I think the Cardinals will do some things right, but ultimately, the Lions front 4 are way too much for Arizona’s oline. The Lions made a bunch of mistakes against the Vikings last week, I don’t see that happening in Arizona.

Genesis – Cardinals. I believe in the Honey Badger. But Suh is probably going to stomp on Mendenhall and rip Fitzgerald’s dreads off.

New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Andrew – New Orleans Saints. Apparently it takes the Buccaneers 12 weeks into the season to figure out how to best run their offense….every. single. year. YOU LOST TO THE JETS! God! Of course, I think Josh Freeman will have more success against the Saints, but the Saints proved they could handle the Falcons, and the Buccaneers are no Falcons.

Greg – New Orleans. What is wrong with the Bucs? Isn’t every year for the past 3 years supposed to be their breakout year? Does anyone even actually care? Riddle me this, have you ever met a Bucs fan?? Anyways — Saints roll.

Genesis – Saints. Buccs are on the decline (great call on not signing that ol’ QB of yours). That loss against the Jets must’ve been a kick in the aull’s walls and really knocked the wind out of those sails (pirate puns!) Yeargh, gonna be kidding yerrghhself if you think the Bucs will win against a powerrgghhhouse like the Saints.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Oakland Raiders

Andrew – Oakland Raiders. Always pick against Jacksonville, except for one game a year. Historically, one could argue that this would be said game to pick the Jaguars, but I was legitimately impressed with how well the Raiders played against the Colts and expect them to build on that success.

Greg – Oakland. Traveling across the country, yada yada yada, who cares. NEXT.

Genesis – Raiders. I was going to write like a huuuuge paragraph about this game and really going into detail about history, each team’s stats, and the possibilities for this game. But I really just don’t care. I’m mad enough that I wrote this much already.

Denver Broncos at New York Giants

Andrew – New York Giants. Yes… I know that the Giants had six (6!) turnovers in week one, but they still managed to put up 31 points against a pretty tough defense in Dallas. Also, given that they turned the ball over six (6!) times, they only allowed the Cowboys to score 36 points. That’s still a lot, but given the amount of times that the Cowboys *could* have scored, there is a silver lining here…..somewhere. My point is… given that those type of games don’t happen often, I imagine Eli will have more success against a weak(er) Broncos defense. At the same time, I imagine Peyton will get knocked around a little more than usual against a tough Giants defense. I guess technically this would be an upset pick, but I’ma gamblin’ (or is it rambling…) man!

Greg – Denver. The Giants sure know how to shoot themselves in the foot! If this game were later in the season, sure I’d probably pick the Giants at home, but it’s week 2. And we all know that the Giants can never get going early and stuggle often — especially Eli. Now the Giants won’t play as poorly as last week and Peyton won’t throw 7 TDs, but I still think the Broncos win this one.

Genesis – Denver. Much like the Puppy Bowl, the Manning Bowl is much anticipated by a lot of people. The Giants looked a little shaky that first game, esp their offense (woof). Their defense didn’t look that great either, allowing the Cowboys to go crazy on offense. It’s pretty much guaranteed that Cruz will score on a long bomb from Eli, do his dance, and then the Giants lose by like 14 points.

San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks

Andrew – Seattle Seahawks. Definitely not sure on this one. I’m going with the home team, and the (annoying) reputation that the stadium has given to playing at Seattle. I also think that overall the 49ers are the better team, but I feel like the Seahawks will do everything they possibly can to make sure they win this game.

Greg – San Francisco. The Seahawks are tough in their home stadium, and I PROBABLY shouldn’t be picking them, but I just like to watch Kaepernick. This will be a fun game, hopefully as much fun as their Madden Commercial.

Genesis – San Francisco. FOR ALL THE EYEBROWS. Really hope that’s true – if you don’t know what that means, watch the commercial. Anywho, Kaepernick is like so hot right now. He’s basically the better version of RG3 at the moment. Russell Wilson is oh-ver-ra-ted! (clap clap clapclapclap). The ‘9er’s defense is scary (didn’t like that entire squad basically start at last year’s Pro Bowl?) and their offense is clicking. 49ers win.

September 16th –  Monday Night Game (8:30 PM ET)

Pittsburgh Steelers at Cincinnati Bengals

Andrew – Cincinnati Bengals. Unless the Titans just have an amazing defense, I think all the changes and injuries on the Steelers will prevent them from gaining any type of momentum. Crazy that no AFC North team won last week.

Greg – Pittsburgh. There are few teams that can bounce back from an awful loss like the Steelers can. I think they still can command that division, and can get back on track with a win here. Should be a physical game and strange one for James Harrison.

Genesis – Bengals. I’m actually excited for this game. James Harrison against his old team?? What’s he going to do?! If I can think of anyone that can tackle Ben Hamburgler by himself, it’s James Harrison. Plus the Pitt o-line is atrocious. Sacks all day! Plus, Andy Dalton might be a dinosaur, but he’s a very good football throwing dinosaur. Rawr.


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