NFL 2009: Week 14 Predictions

10 Dec

Dear Hoi Polloi, we here at Kibitzers would like to apologize. Things got a little out of control last week with the NFL and our predictions suffered the brunt of it. Greg and Andrew tied with a pathetic 9 games correctly predicted and 7 incorrect. Genesis, who only had 9 wrong over the last two weeks, ended with an even 8 and 8. It’s a long drop from the top. Genesis still leads the group with 31 and 17 and Greg and Andrew are tied again at 30 and 18.

New week, new games, let’s hope we can do better…

Thursday, Dec. 10, 8:20 PM:

Pittsburgh Steelers AT Cleveland Browns – Mike Tomlin and Steelers are looking to stop a four game slump by shaking things up at the depth chart. The Browns came back strong against a fire-hot San Diego but on average only score  more than one other team in the NFL…(ready for the kicker?)…the Oakland Raiders. Amazing.

Andrew’s pick – Cleveland Browns. That’s right. I said it. At this point, the game could go either way. The Browns have had some bright spots on offense and Big Ben is losing Smiley to a hamstring injury. If not, screw it, the Steelers are playing poorly enough that people are starting to pick the Browns over them! THE BROWNS!

Greg’s Pick – Pittsburgh Steelers. The Browns do not play well on primetime tv, and the Steelers will finally get a win.

Gen’s Pick – Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers’ performance as of late would make anyone cry, even Giggles. But let’s face it, they’re playing a 1 – 11 Browns. The Steelers still have some fire left in them. Plus, with Big Mac Ben Rothslishamburgler back, they should be able to do just enough to beat the inconsistent medicine woman and the Browns.

Sunday, Dec. 13, 1:00 PM:

New Orleans Saints AT Atlanta Falcons – The Saints barely remained perfect after pulling out a squeaker by taking the lead for the first time in overtime against the Redskins, a team that the Falcons handled thoroughly before the first half was over. Since then, the Falcons have had more injured starters than healthy and have suffered because of it.

Andrew’s pick – New Orleans Saints. The toll of trying to maintain a perfect record is becoming evident as the Saints play has become sloppier. Matt Ryan’s return to Atlanta should keep this game interesting – I just think that the Saints will be able to put up enough points to stay ahead.

Greg’s Pick – New Orleans Saints. Ugh, can this team lose already? It’s looking like Dallas of all teams is our only hope.

Gen’s Pick – New Orleans Saints. You know, I’m going to blame last week’s nail biting performance by the Saints on the short week. I also think they might have overlooked the ‘Skins’ defense. Last time these teams met, the Saints beat the Falcons 35 – 27. Without Ryan or Michael Turner, I don’t think Atlanta will do anything against the Saints.

Green Bay Packers AT Chicago Bears – The Green Bay Packers have been coming on strong at the end of the season, the way most teams would like to end. The Bears made good work of the Rams last week, but that’s the Rams. The Bears need this win to stave off a losing record this season. The Packers would like to continue prove they don’t need Brett Farve and cement themselves as a NFC wildcard.

Andrew’s pick – Green Bay Packers. Green Bay’s O-line is providing Aaron Rodgers some more time and less hits and their defense would like their share of Jay Cutler’s interceptions. If Devin Hester, Orlando Pace, and Lance Briggs still aren’t healthy by this game, the Bears have no chance.

Greg’s Pick – Green Bay Packers. I feel like the Bears could actually play well in this game and keep it close, but Aaron Rodgers is a great (overlooked) quarterback.

Gen’s Pick – Green Pay Packers. The Bears seemed to have some problems with St. Louis. Freakin’ St. Louis. The Packers should be able to do well against the Bears.

New York Jets AT Tampa Bay Buccaneers – What would have been the battle of the interception rookies is being benched like Sanchez for the never-was against the might be. Uh… in case that didn’t make sense to you Kellen Clemens is taking over for an injured Mark Sanchez. Technically the Jets are in the playoff hunt (but not really) and the Buccaneers are still looking for their second win… so it’s kind of past the point of pride… am I right!?

Andrew’s pick – New York Jets. It kind of pains me to pick the Jets. My gut feeling is that Josh Freeman won’t throw five interceptions to lose this game, but I know that Kellen Clemons is fighting for his career and the Jets defense will give Freeman some problems.

Greg’s Pick – Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Clemens starting won’t mean good things for the Jets, who are without SANCHISE!

Gen’s Pick – Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Kellen Clemens looked like a huge poop butt against the Bills. And without San-cheese, what exactly will the Jets offer this Sunday? NOTHING! YOU’VE GOT NOTHING!!

Miami Dolphins AT Jacksonville Jaguars – This should be an entertaining game for… the State of Florida (OOHHH!). Both teams are second in their division, and the Dolphins could really help themselves by bringing down an AFC opponent. The Jaguars have a better record but have played pretty inconsistently all season.

Andrew’s pick – Miami Dolphins. Home team advantage really won’t help out here.  Miami found out last week they could beat the Pats without the wildcat offense so now how do the Jags prepare for them!?

Greg’s Pick – Jacksonville Jaguars. This one will come down to the wire I think, I still just don’t trust Miami in any situation when they are down late in the game to rally though (disregard last week).

Gen’s Pick – Jacksonville Jaguars. I’m not sure Miami will be able to carry on the success of last week’s last minute comeback. Other than that, I don’t really care about this game so I’m just picking the more ferocious animal.

Detroit Lions AT Baltimore Ravens – The Ravens have been looking forward to this game for a long time after a series of several tough games – the Colts, Steelers, and Packers. The Lions superstar Matt Stafford will be out of this game, replaced by Daunte Culpepper, but that still has no effect on Detroit’s abysmal defense.

Andrew’s pick – Balitmore Ravens.  This is a good game for the Ravens to start a strong play off push. The Lions defense will make Joe Flacco look like the rookie he was last year (that’s an odd statement).

Greg’ s Pick – Baltimore Ravens. It seems like they have started to figure things out on offense (late last game), and will roll past Detroit on their push for the Wild Card spot.

Gen’s Pick – Baltimore Ravens. Really? I have to explain myself for this pick? All I’m saying is that let’s how Matt Stafford isn’t playing because Ray Lewis might eat him. I’m scared for that boy.

Seattle Seahawks AT Houston Texans – Both teams looked like their old selves last week. The Seahawks managed to beat the 49ers (although not the best team, a division rival non-the-less) and the Texans found yet another way to lose. The Texans four game losing streak puts them just about out of the playoff picture. Seattle’s Matt Hasselbeck is sitting out of practice this week with an injured shoulder but is expected to play. Steve Slaton was recently put on IR for the Texans.

Andrew’s pick – Houston Texans. I think both teams play too inconsistently to really make a good call on this one. The home team should have the advantage but who’s to say they can’t find a way to lose.

Greg’s Pick. Houston Texans. When in doubt – go with the home team! Maybe the Texans will finally look like the team they always start out the season with. Texans easily in this one.

Gen’s Pick – Seattle Seahawks. Listen, I have to keep my lead over these two guys somehow. The Seahawks looked okay against the 49ers last week. Plus, with four straight losses, the Texans’ winning mentality might have faded.

Denver Broncos AT Indianapolis Colts – A one point this could have been the most interesting game in the season, until Josh McDaniels found Bill Belichick’s bible on losing. Always willing to impress his master (Belichick), Josh McDaniels is hoping to stop the perfect Indianapolis Colts and prevent them from obtaining a a record-setting 22nd consecutive regular-season victory.

Andrew’s pick – Indianapolis Colts. If the Denver Broncos beat the Colts, the pupil being better than the master references will never end and I just. Can’t. Have. That. Now that people are saying the Pat’s dynasty is over, do you think they will still magically play the Colts every year or will the “formula” change and the Colts play the Saints every year now… interesting….

Greg’s Pick – Denver Broncos. If anyone can stop this offense, I think the Broncos can pull something together. Now keeping pace with their offense is a different story. Can they please just throw it up to Brandon Marshall every play? I mean he can outjump the entire Colts defense!!

Gen’s Pick – Denver Broncos. With the exception of last week, the Colts seemed to be cutting it close and does enough come back for the win. This week, however, I think the Broncos will put up a fight and eventually win this one, probably with a field goal.

Buffalo Bills AT Kansas City Chiefs – Both teams are playing for pride at this point. The Bills have at least been keeping games close, so maybe they have a little more pride to fight for. Even after intercepting Kyle Orton’s three times, the Chiefs still only managed to put up 13 and got beat by 31. Matt Cassel should have gone to Denver…

Andrew’s pick – Buffalo Bills. The Bills are averaging 16.6 points a game while the Chiefs are averaging 16.3. The Chiefs are allowing an average of 27.2 while the Bills allow an average 21.8. Combine those two stats and the Bills win.

Greg’s Pick – Kansas City Chiefs. Well look at Mr. Stat man above me! Well I still think home field advantage will take hold of this match-up. I wonder where TO will be next year…

Gen’s Pick – Buffalo Bills. TO looked pretty bad last week but I think his performance will be different against the Chiefs. And for real, Andrew is a Stat Man (Shooby dooby doo bop bop bee bop bop)

Cincinnati Bengals AT Minnesota Vikings –  Favre looked just worn out as those Wrangler Jeans he’s been selling against Arizona, but with this guy coaching, can you blame them? Both teams lead their respective divisions and the Bengals just ensured a winning season for only the second time in 19 years.

Andrew’s pick – Cincinnati Bengals. I’m still a little unsure about this team but I think their defense should be able to keep Farve in check. Ochocinco should have a career day with all the injuries on the Vikings defense.

Greg’s Pick – Minnesota Vikings. Into the MetroDome is never good news for an opposing team. The crowd will be electric and Favre will play well again inside the dome.

Gen’s Pick – Minnesota Vikings. The Human Red Wine looked more like the Human Grape Juice against the Cardinals last week. But I’m going to blame last week’s FLUKE loss on the Vikings’ left tackle, Bryant McKinnie. I’ll actually be looking for that this week. The Vikings should be able to bounce back from last week’s tough loss.

Carolina Panthers AT New England Patriots – Since 2003, the Patriots are 14-1 at Gillette Stadium in December. The bad news is, Bill Belichick thinks that this team bears little resemblance to the teams that won three Super Bowls this decade.  The Panthers haven’t managed to stay healthy at all this year, but last game the defense pulled off five turnovers to keep the Buccaneers out of the end zone almost all game. The running continues to be the driving force behind the Panther’s wins.

Andrew’s pick – New England Patriots. The Patriots are perfect at home this season and the Panthers are struggling all around. Even though the Patriot’s run defense isn’t the best, I don’t think it will be enough for Carolina while on the road.

Greg’s Pick – New England Patriots. Thank GOD for a home game. Really hope that they get their minds right, seeing as they sent home Moss, Thomas, and 2 other players from practice yesterday (show up on time!!) The Pats really need this win to shut up the critics.

Gen’s Pick – New England Patriots. Check out Bitter Bus Greg above me. The Pats will pull off a win this week and this time, (suspenseful music), it won’t be a squeaker.

Sunday, Dec. 13, 4:05 PM:

Washington Redskins AT Oakland Raiders – Both teams seem to “play up” to the level of their competition. The Raiders have been able to close out those games giving them the better record. The Redskins are probably the most creative team at losing football games. After missing two “gimmes” to win two separate games, the Redskins decided to cut their kicker and find someone new.

Andrew’s  pick – Washington Redskins. If the Redskins play like they have in the past three games, then this might actually be an entertaining game. Usually when I think that, it turns into a slop fest. Either way, I think the Redskins are the better team here.

Greg’s Pick – Oakland Raiders. The Redskins are coming off one of the most devastating losses in memory, traveling all the way to the other side of the country, to play an equally as poor a team. This one could get sloppy, but Raiders pull it out.

Gen’s Pick – Washington Redskins. The Skins did very very well against the Saints only to blow it at the very end. But the important part is that they played well. Plus with Swissham cut, we might actually make a 20 yard field goal. IT DOESN’T MATTER IF HE WAS PERFECT FOR MOST OF THE SEASON!

St. Louis Rams AT Tennessee Titans – For some reason the Rams get the least amount of bad press for being such a bad team. The Lions have doubled them up in wins, but still more people talk about the Lions being bad than they talk about the Rams. I guess when you have the second best running back in the league people tend to overlook the fact that the Rams are looking at their second season of 1 and 15. Last week the Titans got derailed by the Colts, but that always happens.  The Titans are looking to play keep away from Steven Jackson with their own NFL leading running back Chris Johnson.

Andrew’s pick – Tennessee Titans. Titans win. It’s science.

Greg’s Pick – Tennessee Titans. The Rams do not have an answer for Chris Johnson, especially in Tennessee where Vince Young plays so well.

Gen’s Pick – Tennessee Titans. I like that the analysis is longer than the explanation of the picks. Titans win because they’re playing the Rams.

Sunday, Dec. 13, 4:15 PM:

San Diego Chargers AT Dallas Cowboys – Two division leaders on top of two terrible divisions. The Chargers have longest December winning streak in NFL history. The Cowboys are on a December streak of their on, but not nearly as good. The Cowboys haven’t had a winning December since going 3-2 in 2001. This is the Cowboys only home game this month, so if they want to hush the critics, they’re going to have to step it up during this game.

Andrew’s pick – San Diego Chargers. This is kind of a toss-up. Both teams have the tendency to randomly collapse offensively and it’s pretty hard to tell when it’s going to happen. History tells us that for the Chargers it won’t be until January, so I think they’ll take this game.

Greg’s Pick – Dallas Cowboys. A December win for Dallas?! That’s right, Chargers will hand the game to the Cowboys with turnovers.

Gen’s Pick – San Diego Chargers. Rivers has a sensational season so far. 3,311 yards, 21 Touchdowns. Talk about being overlooked. The Cowboys have a preeetty weak pass defense. Let’s take a look at what happens.

Sunday, Dec. 13, 8:20 PM:

Philadelphia Eagles AT New York Giants – The Giants just swept the Cowboys for the first time in a couple years to prove that they are still contenders in the NFC. The Eagles steam rolled the Giants in the first game 40-17 and might be getting Brian Westbrook back. If the Giants want to hang in this division they are going to have to come up big in this game.

Andrew’s pick – Philadelphia Eagles. I really would like for the Giants to win this and the Cowboys to lose their game so the NFC East just becomes one gigantic mess, aside from the Redskins. I also would like for Brian Westbrook not to play, since I like him as a player and don’t want him to die.

Greg’s Pick – Philadelphia Eagles. Finally figuring out to incorporate Vick into their offense means a confused defense in New York!

Gen’s Pick – Philadelphia Eagles. The more I watch them, the more I respect the Eagles. Vick looked pretty good for someone who hasn’t been playing football for two years because HE’S BEEN IN JAIL. The Eagles really can hit you in different ways.

Monday, Dec. 14, 8:30 PM:

Arizona Cardinals AT San Francisco 49ers – The Cardinals looked like the ’08 superbowl bound team by thoroughly whooping the Vikings which, in our opinion, is a pretty well-rounded team. The San Francisco 49ers have had some highs and some lows this season but seem to be on the up and coming. The 49ers would like to win this game to prevent the Cardinals from clinching the NFC West.

Andrew’s pick – Arizona Cardinals. I think the 49ers will come out tough and give the Cardinals some problems early on but as the game goes on and Warner figures out the defense then the points will start to rack up for Arizona.

Greg’s Pick – San Francisco 49ers. When is the last time they got a MNF game? This crowd (and team) is going to be pumped up. Expect an overwhelming 49ers defense on the Cardinals.

Gen’s Pick – San Francisco 49ers. I toooo shall jump on the team being pumped for a MNF game bandwagon. The defense will probably put a little extra stank on their game. Let’s hope it’s good enough.


One Response to “NFL 2009: Week 14 Predictions”

  1. EB December 10, 2009 at 12:50 pm #

    This is the worst set of predictions I’ve ever seen.

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